“Loud Socks”:

The bright, colorful, patterned tubes of material that boring men pull over their feet, leading them to believe they have style. These are also known as “fun” socks, or “statement” socks.

Confession time. I’ve worn these types of socks before. When they first started popping up, I thought it would be a cool way to differentiate myself. After a while of some keen observation, I realized I wasn’t differentiating at all. There were herds of men walking around wearing shortly cropped pants, showcasing their orange polka dot socks. And it’s only gotten worse.

We like making things easy. That’s what men do. It seems that the fun sock has made an empty promise to a lot of men, telling them a pair of these socks can make them look stylish with ease.

I can see the tag lines now:

“Want to stand out without effort? Grab a pair of these purple zebra print socks and your feet will be drawing attention in no time!”

“Want style but don’t want to spend more than five dollars? Look no further than our crazy safety cone orange socks! No thinking about your outfit required!”

These kinds of socks are for lazy men.

It’s a tell-tale sign for those in the know, that you don’t know.

You couldn’t be bothered to pair your socks correctly with a color that works for the rest of your outfit, or you don’t know how. Either way, not cool.

Not only does it signal a lack of knowledge regarding men’s style, but it also draws attention away from everything else. Even if you put together a fantastic outfit, it now comes in second to your socks that are visually shouting at me. You really want the most notable part of your image to be next to the floor? How about drawing that attention upwards to your handsome mug instead.

For you men that wear your trousers a bit more classically with a fuller break, this is less of a concern as your socks will be concealed most of the time by your pants, but once you sit down, it’s a different story.

So, let’s get rid of any of those types of socks and work towards something that is much more tasteful.

I’ll leave you with a few tips…

• Your socks should match your trousers, not your shoes. Otherwise, you get a “bootie” look going on.

• Your socks ideally will pick up another color in your outfit, but if they don’t they should be in the same tone as the other colors. A common favorite pairing of mine is burgundy socks with a lighter navy trouser.

• Keep your patterns minimal or nonexistent. The more you have going on down there, the easier it is to screw it all up.

  • Don’t mirror your patterns if you’re already wearing another pattern. Argyle socks with an argyle sweater is not a good combination.

• Darker, staple colors are always safe. Black, brown, charcoal, navy.

• If you’re wearing a full suit for professional purposes, never go sock-less. This is for you younger guys who have adopted the sock-less look. I’m all for it, just not here.

Final word: Statement socks get you the wrong kind of attention and are more trouble than they are worth trying to pair and sort them every time you do laundry. Get a bunch of well made socks that match and don’t give it another thought. Hope that helps.

Read More: Laundry for Men

For more straightforward advice on what you should and shouldn’t be wearing, along with hairstyle, color analysis and more, check out Personalized Image & Grooming Assessment and the online consultation. Developed exclusively for guys like you by a guy like me (okay, actually me). You can now work 1:1 with me to nail your personal style once and for all. Learn more here. Spots are limited each month so if it fills up, check back next month. I’d be happy to work with you.