I sometimes work with clients who tell me they don't know what their style is. They say things like, "I want to know what style is best."

The truth is, there is no "best" style.

Everyone has a different style - there is no right or wrong, and thank god for that. Think about an ivy league prep wearing the same clothing as Mick Jagger. It doesn't work. The clothing isn't congruent with the person.

Your style should be a reflection of yourself, and you should be wearing stuff you like. This doesn't mean you have an excuse not to look good. It means that the clothing you wear should feel like it belongs on you, and ideally, it makes you look good.

Many men go into stores with their wives or girlfriends and suddenly feel overwhelmed with possibilities and decide to defer to their partner's choice saying, "I don't know, you choose."

This is your error.

You should never relinquish responsibility to anyone for the way the world sees you. And it's not like you'd do this with anything else; When you were deciding what car you'd purchase next, I highly doubt you threw in the towel on that decision.

The truth is, you do have an opinion. It's there, you just have to find it and give it a voice.

Start with one particular item you need to shop for, which you should be doing anyway (Pivot maxim #32938 - Never bulk shop unless you're with an expert).

Let's say we're choosing a jacket.

Look at each jacket in a store thoroughly. Try them on. Don't think about whether this jacket would have been something you historically would have bought or would have skipped, just look at it on you.

Eventually, one of these jackets will say something to you.

It might just be a faint "It'll do," but still, this means you've found something passable that YOU have chosen.

We're trying to strengthen that decision-making muscle and your eye for your style. Those muscles might be fatigued, so don't work too hard. Just find an item that speaks to you, even just a little bit.

And now you can begin to find a pattern in these things you like. You can now start to see, "Oh, maybe I'm gravitating towards these types of items" or, "Wow, I'm liking a lot from this brand/store/etc." and you begin to carve away at the grand mess of shopping and start to form an opinion and gain some direction.

You begin to see that there IS clothing you like out there. You begin to assert control over what you put on your body. You begin to discover your taste, even though you thought you never had any. Don't worry if it's bad or good, just be happy you've located it. Most guys never do.

And remember, you don't have to go it alone. It's okay to ask for directions or a map of where to dig.

I always advise clients to start by just compiling some photos (it's part of the prep work for working with me). Pinterest is great for this. Just start gathering pictures. Don't even try to make sense of it. If you find yourself saying, "This is something I'm drawn toward," save a copy of the picture. Don't try to dissect it, yet.

Once you've gathered enough photos, you'll start to see some common themes emerge. Look at all the images together and try to find some linking elements. Become a detective of your own style, trying to uncover clues about what your eye is gravitating towards.

Then, all you have to do is go find those items. Find brands that have a similar aesthetic to the photos you've chosen. Or, target a specific item you see pop up in a lot of the photos.

Either way, get moving. You want to use those photos as a compass to steer you closer toward your ideal image. Before you go on any journey, the first step is to make sure you have a working compass, lest you find yourself wandering around in circles, lost in the woods, or in this case, the mall.

Whatever you do, find your style. It's like finding your voice. Most guys don't, and it shows. They wear stuff they don't like, they hate shopping, and they look like every other guy who gets clothing from a wife, girlfriend, or subscription box.

Have the guts to make a decision and have a point of view.

Before you know it, shopping will be a breeze, as you've taken a huge chunk of the frustration out of it - you now can say "yes" or "no" easily, even before trying something on.

There's a small section of gold out there for you - perfect clothing that you actually ENJOY wearing that makes you feel a bit more like you. You just have to start working out the muscles used to dig for it.

If you want to dive deeper into finding your personal style, you can read this.

x Patrick